Surrender
by AmethystB
Summary: “Didn’t you blame fate for that?” She ignored me. “Didn’t you feel like you wanted to change everything to make it right? That’s what I do, Jack. I change things to make it all right.” Oneshot, TruJack


**A/N: **My first shot at a _Tru Calling _fic. Takes place directly after the season two finale, "T'was The Night Before Christmas…Again". It does contain spoilers for those who haven't seen it. I'm not sure but if this gets enough reviews, I might go on to write a sort of sequel. Just a thought though.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own _Tru Calling_, though I wish I did because I would fight harder for it instead of resigning to Fox so easily…I also don't own the song "Burden Of Sacrifice" by Full Blown Rose.

Just a little rosy Tru/Jack romance ficlet, so enjoy!

* * *

**Surrender**

I watched her as she laughed, blissfully unaware of her father's dangerous secret. I smiled amusedly as I wondered what it would be like if she ever found out. Would he have to kill her, just as he had hired someone to kill her mother? Or would she kill him, then turn her anger to me? I hoped the latter never happened, for my sake. I shifted on my stool, turning to face her completely. Her dark hair reached down past her shoulders in curls and her dark green eyes shifted to me occasionally, and she caught my look every time.

I glanced to the clock hanging above the kitchen. It was already close to one in the morning, and three people still remained guests in her apartment. Eventually though, her father stood and said goodnight, kissing her affectionately on her cheek. I tried hard not to sneer as he looked my way and put on the act.

"Nice to meet you, Jack," he said distinctively, emphasizing my name mercilessly.

I took his hand in mine and shook quite roughly. "You two, Richard. Merry Christmas."

He turned away, but not before holding my look for a number of seconds. I nodded casually, hoping Tru didn't notice the dark look in my eyes. I hated when she read me correctly. I breathed a sigh of quiet relief when Richard closed the door behind him. Now only Jensen remained, and I knew what he was hanging around for. I wasn't about to let him get it so easily. Another twenty minutes passed effortlessly and then it was time for him to yawn and give up. I watched on as he and Tru shared another kiss, though not as passionately this time. He stood up and again flashed me a genuinely kind smile.

"Merry Christmas, Jack," he said while taking my arm. "I'll see you around."

I smiled easily, though not as genuinely as he thought. "Not if I see you first."

"Goodnight, Tru," he whispered quietly as she ushered him to the door.

I turned away respectfully, knowing they wanted privacy. Within seconds, though, Tru was back and taking up a stool next to me. I offered her a smirk, glad to finally have the chance to be alone with her. She rolled her eyes at me and took up her glass her white wine, downing what was left of it. I smiled as she stretched and raised her eyebrows.

"So," she said casually, "I congratulate you on being the last one to leave."

I picked up my own glass of wine and took a large sip. "That's what I was going for. Couldn't let Jensen beat me."

She smirked. "Too good for him, right?"

I shrugged. "Don't know about me, but you are."

She stood from her stool suddenly to walk over to the kitchen. I was pretty sure she was halfway to being drunk. "Harrison said earlier today that I was sleeping with the enemy."

"Did he now?" I countered in a mockingly surprised tone. "That Harrison. Has his sister's sick sense of humour."

She turned around to face me, her eyes serious. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Let me guess," I stood, raising my voice. "Would it be about how I do what I do?"

**I feel the darkness blanket over me**  
**Seems like forever I've been paralyzed  
****What is the reason you have come to beckon me?  
****I feel the energy rush through my veins**

She frowned and shook her head. Turning away again, I managed to catch that look in her eye that deemed a sense of guilt and curiosity together. There was silence for a long time as she considered what to say. She walked over to her couch and sat down, motioning for me to do the same. I hesitated, not sure if it was the best thing to do in this situation. Eventually I shrugged and walked over to her, sitting down next to her, making sure there was a large enough gap between us. I stretched my arms out over the back of the couch. She leaned back and closed her eyes.

"How can you do it?" she whispered quietly, never opening her eyes.

I studied her, studied the way she looked with her eyes closed and her head back. It was rare to catch her like this; so relaxed and ignorant to the dangers around her. I considered her question. It was one she asked so often and yet she was never satisfied with the answer. What she didn't realise was that it was a two-way street. She couldn't understand why I did the things I did, while I didn't understand exactly how she could mess with fate like she did. I often told her it had serious consequences, and yet she never listened to me.

**Take my hand, rescue me**  
**Justify, set me free  
****Break me down, make it right  
****Burden of sacrifice**

"It's my job," I breathed quietly. "Another day, another body laid to rest. As it should be."

Tru shifted. "It's not right. Somebody who needs help gets death instead."

I turned around to face her. "They're dead, Tru. You don't need to mess with that. It upsets the balance."

Her eyes opened and she turned her head to look at me, then looked away again. "They ask _me _for help, Jack. They don't expect me to do nothing when I need to do something."

"You said yourself today that helping doesn't always mean saving the lives of those dead," I said evenly. "It also means helping the people around them. You can't save them all, Tru."

She shook her head, resigning. She would never understand me, and I would never understand her. That was just the way of the universe.

**Sometimes I wonder why I'm here at all**  
**A thousand faces yet I'm feeling so alone  
****Your whispers calling me, you speak my name  
****How can I save you if I couldn't save myself?**

"Why did Luc have to die?"

I looked to her again. She had her eyes closed but I could see the shimmer of tears escaping from underneath her eyelids. "I thought you were over him."

"You never get over the death of someone whose life has been taken so selfishly," she said in a dead whisper. "That's what makes my calling so important to me."

I looked at her pointedly. "And yet the calling didn't save Luc."

"Because you killed him," Tru said, raising her voice.

I leaned in close to her, growing impatient. "I didn't pull that trigger, Tru. You can't blame me for a choice you made."

She frowned. "I didn't choose for that to happen…"

"You chose Harrison over Luc," I interrupted skillfully. "You chose your brother because you love him more than you love…probably anyone else in the world. You hardly know your father, your mother's been dead for years…who else do you have besides Harrison?"

**Take my hand, rescue me**  
**Justify, set me free  
****Break me down, make it right  
****Burden of sacrifice**

"It could've been anyone other than Luc," she said distantly.

I shook my head. "I warned you but once again, you didn't listen to me. Fate's cold, Tru. Get used to it."

"Is that what you learnt when it took your sister?" She moved back when I turned around viciously. "Or when you let Megan slip off that tower? I saw your eyes after that happened. I saw a sadness in them that I have never seen in anyone before."

"Shut up, Tru," I whispered dangerously.

"Didn't you blame fate for that?" She ignored me. "Didn't you feel like you wanted to change everything to make it right? That's what I do, Jack. I change things to make it all right."

I shuddered. Controlled myself. Breathed in steadily. "It's not all right, Tru. The balance becomes upset so that good always triumphs over evil, life prevails over death. That's not real, Tru. And you know it."

**And silence falls**  
**Like calmness in a storm  
****My tortured soul  
****Is broken, wanting more**

There was a cold silence again. I closed my eyes and leaned into the couch, suddenly drained. I stood to leave, walking towards the door slowly, but her voice stopped me.

"Don't go, Jack."

It was so soft that at first I thought I had imagined it. I kept walking, but she said it louder, more forcefully. I was suddenly aware that she didn't want me to be her enemy. She didn't want to fight anymore. She wanted it all to be over. The calling. The death. The responsibility. She wanted all of it to disappear. I knew, because I felt like that sometimes. I felt like that after I had let Megan slip from my fingers.

I walked back over to the couch, slowly, and sat back down next to her. "When was the last time you had one of those nightmares?"

She frowned at my question. "What nightmares?"

"The nightmares you've had ever since your mother was killed," I answered quickly.

It took a long time for her to answer and I wondered if that was because she felt like she was betraying her mother, talking to the one person who brought death constantly. "They stopped when I answered the calling."

I laughed ironically. "My nightmares started when I answered my calling. Funny how fate works, isn't it."

She reached behind her to pull up her jacket from the back of the couch. "I guess it is," she replied distantly.

I watched her shrug on her leather jacket, struggling with the sleeves. "I don't enjoy it, what I do. It's just something I've been called to do, just like you."

"Sometimes I wish I hadn't been chosen," she said quietly, then paused. "But then I think about my mother, and how she had the calling. She passed it on to me, so I guess that means I have something to live for."

**Take my hand, rescue me**  
**Justify, set me free**

I lifted my head, thinking. "When I learned about Harrison's death I was happy to give him another chance at life. I genuinely felt like he was a friend. We had bonded, before he found out who I really was. I saw how desperately you wanted him to live, waiting with him in the operating room after he died just to hear him say those words you would normally dread. I let him live, but it had to come with a price."

"Luc," Tru said hollowly. "I blamed you for that. You were that bullet. The bullet that scarred me before killing him. I look at that scar every day and think of him. It's a constant reminder that my job means life or death."

"Tru," I began quietly. "You think of your calling as a job. It shouldn't be, not for you."

She frowned again. "Why not?"

I shrugged. "Like many things, I don't have a reason for that. I just know that it shouldn't be a job, an obligation. It should be a part of you, but not dominating. It should be a way of life rather than a job."

She smiled, despite herself. "You're giving away all of your tips in one go. Bad mistake."

"Trust me," I smirked, "I have a lot more."

There was yet again another silence; this time there was no real animosity between us. It was kind of soothing, knowing that while we were adversaries, we could relate to one another and share personal thoughts while holding back our differences.

There was a question nagging at the back of my mind that I just had to ask. "So what's the real reason you invited me to dinner tonight?"

It was Tru's turn to shrug. "Same reason you tagged along all day."

I raised an eyebrow. "What? Because nobody should be alone on Christmas Eve?"

She shook her head, the small smile returning. "No, because I want to help people. And I can do that in many ways, not just by saving lives."

I nodded, understanding. "I'm not your enemy, Tru," I whispered quietly. "We're just two people on different sides of the fence. One who believes and one who doesn't."

She turned around to face me. "If you don't believe, then why do you continue to keep the dead…dead?"

I smiled at her, a small tug of the lips. "Whoever said I was the one who didn't believe?"

Her green eyes flashed with a brief hesitation before they found mine again. "I have faith in what I do, Jack."

I was pleased with her answer, but I leaned forward still, trying to unnerve her. "You are so far out of your league. And I know how to show you how far you've really sunk."

"Show me," she pleaded in a whisper.

I reached out my hand, wrapping my fingers around her warm neck. She didn't resist when I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers in a soft kiss. I felt her shudder, though she didn't pull back. I broke the kiss, searching her face for the reaction I had been anticipating. Instead, her eyes flicked to mine, then to my lips. She leaned forward this time, pressing her lips harder against mine in a kiss I could not resist. Once again, I broke it and looked down towards the carpet. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

**Break me down, make it right**  
**Burden of sacrifice**

"This wasn't supposed to happen," I whispered, almost inaudibly. I realised, that under the circumstances, that wouldn't have been the worst thing, if she hadn't heard me.

I stood and walked quickly to the door, not looking back at her as I opened it then closed it behind me. I leaned against the door, closing my eyes and breathing in. How could that have happened?

It wasn't until I held a short breath that I heard a voice from the other side of the door, "Merry Christmas, Jack."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and resisted the urge to punch the wall. I breathed steadily and walked down the many flights of stairs until I reached the ground floor, then I opened the emergency exit door and pierced the frozen night air. I saw the black limousine and walked over to it, reaching my hand up underneath the door handle and clipping it open. I saw Richard's gaunt face and sidled in next to him, closing the door carefully after me.

"You took your time," he said in an accusing manner, his eyes probing mine cautiously.

"Being your daughter's enemy is tough," I breathed as the smooth motor started and we rolled along the street, past the apartment building.

I stared up at the windows, all of them covered and dark inside. All except for one.

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End file.
